How to talk to a nervous person

When people are nervous /and they are nervous all the time/ their thinking is limited. Neurophysiologists explain that the emotional brain, which developed as a result of the evolution of mammals, loses connection with the more highly developed rational human brain /the one that knows how to capture perspective/.

Instinct prompts us to surrender control to the primitive part of the brain that only knows how to fight and run.

It is difficult for a person to restrain himself – if he succumbs to this urge, he may commit some impulsive actions. In such a restricted state, the brain does not perceive new instructions and is certainly not able to follow them.

What should be taken into account is the one who needs to organize other people and achieve with their assistance a certain result.

But even if we are not managers, almost every one of us has to talk or contact with similar type, more nervous people. Almost certainly everyone has among their friends or colleagues people who are more easily irritated.

For example – if you talk to someone as if they are your slave or vice versa, you constantly demand something from them, this way you will affect their middle brain and they will perceive your words worse.

There is also a more correct way – to address the person directly, preferably by name, and even better to talk to him directly.

This way you will lower the tension, you will affect the higher part of his brain and he will open up to you. But you should also consider the fact that your intentions and intonation can be misread.

How do you ensure that you conduct your conversation effectively? Follow the body language – it will tell you how your interlocutor perceives the language, your words and intonation and how to change them.

It seems to your interlocutor that you are talking “over his head”, that is, slightly arrogant – in this case, he would quickly want to end such a conversation, he feels offended, because it seems that you are not talking to him, but to some third party who may not be present in the room where you are having the conversation. “What an ignoramus! – he will exclaim to himself. “

Your interlocutor in such a case will get the impression that you are suppressing him. You wave your finger in his face and the person across from you might react like this:

1. he will obey, he will bow his head if you manage to scare him, that is, he will look as if he wants to tell you “Please don’t be angry with me” or

2. he will raise his chin and narrow his eyes contemptuously, as if to say to you – “Don’t you dare talk to me like that!”

The person you’re talking to sees that you’re addressing him and not just him – he nods approvingly, as if agreeing: “Yes, that’s reasonable.” But whether they will do what you ask of them is another matter.

Your interlocutor perceives this as a sincere conversation with him – in this case the neck and shoulders are relaxed – you seem to have approached him and as if you are about to hug him like a loving mother or grandfather.

This is how you will convince the person: “Everything will be fine.” We will manage.” This is the language of friendship and companionship. Use this way of talking to people, both in your personal life and when appropriate at work and in negotiations with business partners.

Your task when you have to talk to a nervous person is to choose such a tone and such words so that the other party reacts in a tense conversation in such a way that you need.

And for this purpose, keep an eye on non-verbal language – the more you pay attention to body language, the better you will get to know your interlocutor and react in time.