5 Reasons You Suffer from a Lack of Sexual Desire

Suffering from a lack of sex? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

Women today have less time for sex than their older sisters did in 1950

What’s more – there’s research that says 40 million Americans have what experts call a sexless marriage – they have sex less than 10 times a year.

Regular sex life is good for your health. It can satisfy all kinds of emotional and physical needs for intimacy and help partners stay close, says Dr. Anita H. Clayton, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Virginia.

So why are you hanging around? One reason may be a lack of time, but there are other factors, such as gaining too much weight or perimenopause in women, which can put the brakes on them in the bedroom.

Here are the five most common reasons for the lack of sex between couples.

Your bed is not sexy

We hear it over and over again: the bed should only be used for sex and sleep. Sex is hindered by all kinds of “third parties” such as laptops, iPads, smartphones, the TV, and if they are going to play your favorite movie.

Anything that prevents you from falling asleep also acts as a brake on your sex life. After all, it’s always harder to initiate sex if your husband is hiding behind a newspaper or glued to the TV. And also if your hands are busy researching the internet and not his body.

Tip: Make sure there is no technology area in the bedroom. Then take a serious look at your life and prioritize sex. If you must, schedule a romantic date with your partner!

Drugs kill your sex drive

What irony. Start taking oral contraceptives to have trouble-free sex. Then the magic little pills start to suck your sexual energy away. Why?

They contain estrogen, which increases the production of a type of protein that acts as a trap for the sex hormone testosterone, says Dr. Michael Kreichman, medical director of sexual medicine at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach, California.

Other medications that have a side effect of suppressing sexual desire include blood pressure lowering, anti-anxiety, antacids and antidepressants.

Tip: Ask your doctor about the side effects of your medications on sex. You can ask him to prescribe a contraceptive method that does not use hormones, such as condoms, a diaphragm, or an IUD.

You lead too dynamic a life

You can spend your time working, cooking, shopping, taking care of your family. And in the end at 11:30 p.m. you feel exhausted to death and think about nothing but how to get to bed faster.

The attempts of your sexual partner to touch you seem irritating, you feel full of tension.

Tip: If the idea of ​​spontaneous sex sounds unthinkable to you, you need serious therapy, experts say. Take a soothing bath or warm shower, suggests Dr. Linda De Viller, a sexologist in Los Angeles.

According to her, soaking in warm water not only relaxes you but also keeps you away from any irritating devices like laptops and mobile phones. Add a few drops of ylang-ylang essential oil to the bath – its aroma is believed to increase sexual desire.

You don’t like your body

Many women are reluctant to experiment sexually if they are overweight or their bodies have changed because of pregnancy, says Dr. Clayton. “We are slaves to what is idealized as a model of the perfect body in the media. The message is that you have to look a certain way to have really good sex. “

Tip: “Women have a talent for not liking many things about themselves, even though other people find them very attractive,” says De Viller.

Feel free to ask your partner what he likes and loves about his body, your compliments can make him feel much more positive.

But don’t underestimate the psychological impact of kind words. In a recent Health.com survey, 37 percent of respondents said losing weight made them feel sexy. In fact, it’s been proven that even losing just 5kg can unlock your sex drive.

You are perimenopausal

Prior to menopause, hormonal changes—especially the decline in estrogen—lead to physiological changes that can make sex seem as boring as running a marathon with a pebble in your sock.

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The sensitive vaginal tissues are moistened less and less and the subsequent dryness leads to pain and painful sexual intercourse. Hot flashes and night sweats don’t help either partner.

Tip: Talk to your doctor about the pros and cons of hormone replacement therapy, which can reduce menopausal symptoms.

New research shows that using estrogen cream or suppositories can relieve vaginal dryness. Lubricants also help, especially if pain during intercourse is a problem.