Why is silence after a fight bad for health?

American psychologists made a meta-analysis of 74 studies, in which over 14 thousand people participated, the results of which /meta-analysis/ showed that the behavioral pattern when one of the partners in a a married couple is offended to punish the other with silence, it is destructive, both for the relationship and for the general state of health.

Experts define this silence as one of the most difficult problems to solve in relationships, which is often a harbinger of separation.

Silence after an argument

According to Texas Christian University communication studies professor Paul Schrodt, regardless of who the “silent boycott” originates from, the man or the woman, both partners always suffer.


The professor also points out that a “silent boycott” is present when the level of satisfaction with the relationship and with the intimacy and communication between the partners is broken.

In couples in which this behavioral pattern is present, a number of health problems are observed such as a weakened immune system, impaired functions of the excretory and reproductive systems and the gastrointestinal tract, the men of such couples often suffer from erectile dysfunction.

Such behavior also does not contribute to strengthening the marriage

“The partner, frustrated by the lack of response from his partner in life, makes new and new demands and towards the latter, both of them become more and more distant from each other from another. This quickly turns into a vicious circle, where the partners do not look for a solution to the specific problem, but start to fight because of the fight itself.”

Other psychologists also recommend that couples try not to create a similar conflict, but if they do end up in a similar situation, to do everything possible to quickly get out of this vicious circle.

Julie Nelson of the University of Utah, USA, recommends that spouses agree in advance on the rules for resolving conflicts, possibly also agreeing on an appropriate conditional symbol to stop the quarrels. “When there are clear rules, it provides a sense of security and safety when dealing with a potentially explosive topic,” Nelson points out.

Psychotherapist Fran Walvis believes that when one of the partners is silent, he gives himself space and tries to arouse sympathy in his life partner. That’s why, according to Walvis, it’s important to tell your partner how you feel when they’re pulling away — but don’t call them “selfish,” “rude” or “unresponsive.”

“If you’re the one doing the ‘silent boycott,’ try to explain to your partner that you need more space to think,” recommends behavioral strategy specialist Warren Kenn. According to him, it is precisely the lack of explanations, the reluctance to talk, that creates the greatest discomfort for the people close to us.

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